Do Over

                                                                            New Zealand

We have crossed the international dateline again.  This time, instead of skipping a day, we get a do over.  This morning I thought about what I would do differently since I get to do over Wednesday.  It is really cold here in the Northern Pacific Ocean.  The only thing I decided to do differently was wear warmer shoes to lunch (my feet were freezing yesterday, I mean the first time today), err anyway that is my do over.

This is the first time in my life I have had the opportunity to change my past which gave me pause to consider what I would have done differently with my life- really not much.  There were failures, wrong turns, not so good decisions, times I should have known better but without these foibles, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have the people in my life who I love and I wouldn't be the man I am today.  Three things come to mind that I would do better.

Last night, I had a dream I was talking to my father in his garage next to his tool chest.  And what is the first song that plays this morning on my I Phone random play?  Old Man by Neil Young.

Old man, take a look at my life, I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes and you can tell that it’s true

My father was a kind and gentle man devoted to his family.  I tried for too long not to be like him.  My oldest brother, Butch (RIP), and our father were very good friends and I envied their relationship.  Butch once told me that in order to have a relationship with our father, you had to meet him in the garage.  He was a mechanic who loved working on cars, fixing things and tending his vegetable garden.  I didn't like any of those things.  Not only was he a devoted family man, he married a strong woman who he ended up working for in the family real estate business, the last 20 years of his working life.  Old Man, I'm a lot like you and would give anything to work in the garden with you now.

Another do over would be my relationship with Ruth Ann's mother.  We got along fine but I mostly saw her as an intrusion to our marriage (and she was in the beginning).  Donna had limited means so she gave her time to help us in so many ways.  I was always respectful and grateful but I wish I would have loved her more.

My third do over would have been to be more patient and slower to anger with our children.

More sea days ahead.